Nothing confuses me more than myself. With the entire exotic and vast world out there to see and explore, I find that the more that I look, the more confused I become.I wasn't adopted and I know who most of my family members are. I come from a mixed European lineage of both paupers and blue blood.
My problem is that I fall in love so hard with cultures and places that I find myself easily blending into their world. I start to think,dream,speak and eat in their language. I forget my sense of self and willingly suspend disbelief to become a vessel for humanism. That doesn't appear to be a problem in print, but in life it is quite a different color.
In order to function successfully in society, is it possible to walk around with a cameleon coat of cultures? I have preferred other cultures to my own ever since I was about six. I was introduced to my first best friend in America, an Ecuadorian girl, and was soon dancing merengue better than her Ecuadorian family at their family parties. My friends were a U.N. gathering of nations then and that's the way I've always preferred it.
Perhaps I'm still "finding myself" or some other cliche bullshit term for people who know who they are and are just completely comfortable living as many lives in the lifetime as possible. Whatever the case may be, I no longer feel as bothered by not wanting to be only what was determined by my birth. My horizons have expanded with ease and continue to expand without confusion.
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